Top 5 Women Prince William Should be Marrying

Editors Note: Special guest post by Turd Ferguson of turdfergusonblog.com!

By now the whole world has heard that Prince William is getting married to some commoner named Kate Middleton. Good for her. She’s one Viagra induced heart attack from being crowned Queen of England. More power to her. But, c’mon Prince William, dog, Willie, fam, couldn’t you have done any better? I mean she’s cute and all, but you’re the freaking’ Prince of Wales! The Artist Formally Known as Prince, currently, at the age of like 50, is still pulling hotter chicks than Kate Middleton. Throw your title around, for Christ sake! There’s a kingdom on the line homie!

Take this advice, and take it seriously: Drop that $5 dinner and get with a winner! I’m even going to help you out. I’ve listed 5 English chicks who I’m 99.6% sure would marry you if you just asked. On second thought, scratch that last part. Dont marry them; make like Big Pun and crush a lot!

1) Rosie Jones: She might be, in my humble opinion, the only girl worthy of bringing home to my momma. Rosie is the quintessential girl next door ( if you’re into that type).

2) Keeley Hazell: Yeah, yeah, she has a sex tape but if you can just ignore the first 8 minutes of her giving head in broad day light, the rest of the sex tape is so dark that you really can’t tell if its her or not. It’s all about perspective…

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