D.Repoman

Archive for the ‘current events’ Category

Charlie Sheen serves up Roger Ebert

In current events on March 7, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Sometimes, Mr. Ebert, you just need to know when to say when…

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Top 5 Women Prince William Should be Marrying

In current events on February 17, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Editors Note: Special guest post by Turd Ferguson of turdfergusonblog.com!

By now the whole world has heard that Prince William is getting married to some commoner named Kate Middleton. Good for her. She’s one Viagra induced heart attack from being crowned Queen of England. More power to her. But, c’mon Prince William, dog, Willie, fam, couldn’t you have done any better? I mean she’s cute and all, but you’re the freaking’ Prince of Wales! The Artist Formally Known as Prince, currently, at the age of like 50, is still pulling hotter chicks than Kate Middleton. Throw your title around, for Christ sake! There’s a kingdom on the line homie!

Take this advice, and take it seriously: Drop that $5 dinner and get with a winner! I’m even going to help you out. I’ve listed 5 English chicks who I’m 99.6% sure would marry you if you just asked. On second thought, scratch that last part. Dont marry them; make like Big Pun and crush a lot!

1) Rosie Jones: She might be, in my humble opinion, the only girl worthy of bringing home to my momma. Rosie is the quintessential girl next door ( if you’re into that type).

2) Keeley Hazell: Yeah, yeah, she has a sex tape but if you can just ignore the first 8 minutes of her giving head in broad day light, the rest of the sex tape is so dark that you really can’t tell if its her or not. It’s all about perspective…

Read the full article at the brand new ReposDelight.com by
clicking here

Bears QB Cutler Seeks Alternative Treatment

In current events on January 28, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Injured Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler has taken a ton of grief over his perceived lack of toughness for not playing through the pain during the NFC championship game.

Hell, #1 Chicago Bears fan Turd Ferguson is so distraught that he doesn’t want to even talk about football until the Cubs win the world series!

So you can imagine the feeling of angry Bears fans everywhere when they saw their “injured” QB out about town with his love toy, Kristin Cavallari on TMZ recently:


Girl runs over cousin-twice- Facebook to blame?

In current events on January 28, 2011 at 6:07 pm

In what can only be called the most ridiculous crime (so far) of 2011, Long Island resident Melanie Spanopoulos ran over cousin, Giselle Penagos, twice, with her minivan! The cause of this insane family drama? FACEBOOK (insert damning sound bite…”dum dum dum…”)

Read the full article at the all-new Reposdelight.com by clicking here

So now I’m a Sagittarius?Huh?

In current events on January 13, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Look, normally the Repoman could care less about the mystical stylings of the fortune-teller set. Everytime I eat Chinese food, I search out the fortunes just so I have reason to follow them with “In Bed” (try it, you’ll chuckle, guaranteed). Television psychics crack me up because you can tell that, at some point, they must have worked in the circus. I have no doubts that this stuff is made for people with too much time on their hands.

So can any one tell me why, after hearing about the newly updated zodiac signs, I feel a bit of, well, sadness about no longer being a Capricorn? It appears that, according to the list below, that I now fall into the Sagittarius sign:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

What the heck do I know about being a Sagittarius? According to one source, some traits that characterize a Sagittarius are:

Fun
Optimist
Good-natured
Sociable
Spiritual
Impatient
Fears responsibility
Self-indulgence
Fanaticism
Peter Pan syndrome
Tendency to gamble

Peter Pan Syndrome??? Fanaticism? Who am I now, Michael Jackson???

I don’t know how you Sagittarians(?) do it, but I’m sticking with the old Capricorn set until this thing becomes official. Keep your spiritual, good-natured fear of responsibility and fanatic tendency to gamble while dressed as Peter Pan to yourselves! Weirdos…

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